Snowscape Trilogy Page 3

  He was standing over her pushing his glasses up with the back of one hand and, holding her shoulder with the other as she drew back from my kiss. “Vi, we have to go. Now!” He seemed very angry, but not that his girlfriend was kissing another girl. In fact he didn’t even look at me during the entire exchange. He kept his eye averted towards the front door of Marco’s and he pulled her hand out of mine, carefully not touching me and practically dragged her out of the chair. “You’re empathy is drawing too much unwanted attention towards her. We are leaving.” She pulled her arm back from him and put it on his chest whispering something into his ear. He nodded and released his grip on her. Violet clearly would not be rushed. He stepped back impatiently looking towards the exit ignoring me altogether.

  She took my hand again and leaned across the table to whisper in my ear. “I’m sorry, Amy. We have to go. They can sense us here and it is not the proper junction for a battle.” She paused for a moment, considering her next words. “I’m sorry. You’re going to have to choose.”

  I sucked in my breath and blinked back the tears as a force of sorrow came over pouring into my heart. I looked down to keep from crying while I tried to process what she said apart from the overflowing emotion convulsing through my mortal frame. Choose? That word brought about darkness and light through my soul and the feeling of being shattered into a million pieces overtaking every once of my being. The words may no sense to me, but the feeling behind the hopelessness of it was strong and true. The information that I did not carry, did not dismiss was the fact that I knew this was not good news.

  When I looked up they had both gone. I quickly felt nauseous and in need of escape as the words replayed themselves in my head ‘you’re going to have to choose.’ I didn’t understand what she meant, but the emotion hiding behind those six words were deep and distasteful. I felt as someone had struck me across the face. I could taste salt and realized I had bitten my lip. Quickly texting Alistair that I didn’t feel well and that I would meet him at home, I took a cab to the corner of my street, but as I walked up the sidewalk to the former chateau that was now converted into apartments I felt as though walking inside would awaken me from the strange waking dream that I had been having all evening and I just wasn’t quite ready to wake up yet. I wanted answers. I sat on the porch swing and let myself just breathe in the silence and think over the last two days. The street was incredibly still and dark and reminded me of my dreams.

  Last night my dark stranger had fled from me when I thought of my previous encounter with Violet’s boyfriend. The dark robed stranger that had always haunted my dreams had never spoken out loud to me before this week and now his whole demeanor had changed. What had shifted in the last few days that would warrant him to alter our relationship? Nothing. My life was boring from the outside and has always been. Same day over and over again just like any other human I had chance encounters, friendships, utility bills. Nothing unusual until I saw him standing and starring at me with that beautiful scowl. It had been brief and we hadn’t exchanged words, but could that be it? He had told me to stay away from him, but that was prior to our meeting at my job. Had he knows this was coming? Yes. The answer was clear and obvious, but understanding the meaning beneath was not. I stood on a precipitous without answers and entirely driven by emotions, but I could feel that things were changing. I knew my role to play was a part of a bigger picture. Hadn’t I always knows that? The lack of details was frustrating, but the clarity of purpose was not. I needed answers but I would not live in a state of denial. Was it he causing these changes? Which he was I even thinking about anymore? They were both shrouded in nothing but mystery and then there was Violet. Why did I fall into Violet’s kiss like that? He called her empathic. Was that it? What was different that suddenly my life was a pot of overflowing unexpected encounters? How does she know about him?

  I snapped myself out of my melancholy pondering and decided to go to sleep. Perhaps the answers would be waiting for me there. I laughed to myself. I had always thought I could be a little unhinged because of my strange dreams and now I was looking to them for answers. Perhaps this was the beginning of the end towards the complete mental breakdown I always had imagined myself hurdling? Well, I was never afraid of a challenge and I could either check myself in to a psych ward or walk towards the oncoming storm I felt brewing. Worry was an emotion I did not let myself mull over. Things happened or they didn’t and educated choices were usually better than fickle guesses.

  I went inside and decided to make myself a quick snack of leftover Chinese food. As I waited for the microwave to finish its business, my thoughts meandered to my parents. Growing up as an orphan I had experienced all of the emotions that come with it. Anger, questioning, and denial permeated my existence for years. I had even had the normal fantasy of them being alive and off fighting a magical war in a faraway land. Of course I was a princess and when they won their battles they would come back and claim me and I would rule the kingdom with them. Every orphan has these fantasies. Orphans think that their parents are special. That parents will come back. Of course I could only assume not every orphan had a stranger show up nightly in his or her dreams. My aunt Evelyn seemed normal enough and although she wasn’t overly affectionate she spoke kind things about her sister. Nothing out of the ordinary though. Nothing to make me think I was insane or peculiar.

  But he had always been there. From the first memory I had. After realizing as a child that not everyone dreamt of the same person every night I figured out quickly that my dreams were special.

  The microwave ding brought me out of my fruitless musings. After putting my empty dish in the sink I went to bed thinking maybe I wasn’t as crazy as I had always thought I was. Maybe my life really was something a little different than the rest.

  Chapter 5

  I was in a forest. I absolutely loved the woods. It was the kind of solitude I enjoyed and escaped to as much as possibly growing up. I didn’t remember this path that I was on from any in my childhood, but I often dreamt of places I had never been.

  It was a cool, crisp autumn afternoon and the wind was rolling high off of the nearby mountains. I closed my eyes and breathed it all in. I could smell every subtle scent the trees were giving off and I relished in it. My dreams had always allowed me a heightened sense of my surroundings and I never felt the self-consciousness that the real world afforded me. My dreams were always my realms to play with. Deciding to give myself a challenge that I knew he would be called to, I kept my eyes close and continued walking down the path.

  As always I felt him arrive before seeing him. My eyes were still closed and I could feel his warmth like a contrast against the cool breeze hitting my temples. I suddenly had goose bumps running up and down my arms, but I couldn’t tell which had caused them. My guess would probably be the former. I opened my eyes and turned around to find him standing very closely behind me.

  He kept his head down and his cowl low so I couldn’t see his face, but I moved closer to him, trying to pick up his heat, his smell, anything to make me feel closer to him. I smelled a hint of lilac and spice and suddenly I realized that he had finally won our game. He had moved me closer to him. He had drawn me in to him. Abruptly I regained my composure and my self-control and stepped back away from him. I could feel his amusement again and my cheeks flushed in embarrassment. I didn’t take lightly to defeat and damn him for playing on my melancholy mood.

  I turned to walk away, but I could still feel him behind me. I stopped. “If you aren’t going to give me answers than leave me alone. I’m not playing this game with you any longer.”

  He stopped following for a moment as I walked away.

  Suddenly the breath was pushed out of my lungs as I was thrown face first against a tree. He had my arms pinned over my head, holding both wrists in one of his hands as his other arm reached around my waist and held me pressed close to him. I briefly tried to struggle, my face gently scratching against the bark. I knew it was of no use and I could feel his h
and tightening around my waist, keeping me still and at his whim. I relished in the fact that he was all over me and I could feel my insides tighten in desire as the feel of him breathing on the back of my neck aroused vast amounts of inner desire. I could feel my hair fall across his face as he pressed in closer, kissing me on the neck with passionate little swirls of his tongue. His mouth moved up the back of my shoulders, to the side and up my cheek so I could hear his frustrated moans directly pouring into the edge of my ear as my own desires pulsed through my veins.

  The hand around my waist found itself slowly moving down into the front of my body, making me moan and push against him more. He held me still with his body weight and my wrist and his other hand slowly circled and explored every inch of me. I thought I might explode with need. I looked up and now saw stars as he kissed behind my ear and inched his way with tender kisses across my collarbone. Night had fallen.

  He suddenly let go of my wrist and I fell into his lap on the forest floor. He cradled me from behind careful not to let me see his face. I sat like that for a while content in the new experience we just shared until I heard a rustle from the corner of my mind, far away. He was immediately at high alert and I could feel his entire body tense up against me back. His hand went to my chin and gently cupped it, tilting it towards me until I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead he tilted it back, bringing me close so his mouth touched my ear in a quick movement. He gently kissed my ear and said, “You taste like clovers”.

  I suddenly woke up.

  Covered in sweat, I threw off my comforter, but didn’t move from the sweat soaked sheets I laid in. My face, I could tell, was flush and I wiped my hair back from my face as I tried to catch my ragged breath. Looking up to the battered white ceiling I let myself drift off in emotion and simply ponder what had just occurred. Something had clearly changed. He had always been there, watching, occasionally struggling with me against my will, this contact, and these touches. This was brand new territory and I was frightened of them. Part of me had never wanted to deal with this part of my subconscious mind and the reasoning behind these dreams, but last night…. I knew what I had felt had been real. I could still smell the lilac and spice. I could still feel his hands on me. His soft robes folding in around me. I was confused, nervous, but also excited. I felt wanted and loved, needed even. But still without answers.

  I took a deep soulful breath and let the air seep out of me slowly. I was in the real world again and here my emotional upheaval was not going anywhere so I swung my legs out of bed and headed for the coffee pot.

  Two hours later I was standing behind my register talking with my co-worker across the aisle. Friday afternoons tended to be a slow day for those of us in the supermarket industry. Stay at home moms, did all of their shopping during the week, and family’s came on weekends. Asides from the occasional bachelor who decided to call in sick, and those unemployed Joe’s who had nothing better to do but buy single serve beer, my line stayed pretty empty for most of the afternoon. My day flew by pretty quickly with snippets of chatting to Jennifer and occasional texts from Alistair all day. He ended up going to Ted’s last night after the club and had texted me promptly at 11:45 am to make sure I had made it home safely. Alistair didn’t believe in using the phone before noon, mainly because he never woke up before noon. The extra fifteen minutes really showed how much he cared about me.

  He and Ted were going to a movie that night and had asked me to join. Not wanting to be the third wheel yet again I declined and settled my resolve to spend another wonderful evening with my good buddy and purveyor of liquor, Eric. I was just finishing a text to Alistair letting him know I would be at Blake’s tonight if he wanted to join after the movie when I heard a gruff, clearing of someone’s throat in front of me. Pressing ‘send’ I quickly looked up, “Sorry….” I trailed off because standing in front of me was my angelic beauty from the day before.

  He was still wearing the dark red button down I had seen him in the club last night but today is was open all of the way so I could see the soft contours of his chest peeking out through a standard white all American T-shirt. He still had on his grey tinted glasses perched on the crook of his nose and he used the back of his knuckle to push them up against his face slightly as he stood appraising our current situation. He was wearing black slacks that hugged his perfect six-foot frame and I had no doubt that he wore designer shoes to complete the perfect outfit. Self consciously I thanked the lord that I had worn a more flattering white button down and tight grey jeans before coming to work today so that under my regulation Safeway smock, I at least appeared more put together than most days. I had even spent 10 minutes brushing my hair before settling on a headband instead of my usual lazy up do.

  I stood there for a solid moment, completely taken aback by the situation and his beauty before I realized that I was at work and I should probably do my job. I glanced down the conveyor and didn’t see any groceries. I tilted my head slightly and gave him a questioning look.

  He took a pack of gum off of the register display and put it down on the scanner. He gave me a small smirk and said, “Are you having a good day….Amy?” My name he hesitated on and looked carefully at my nametag with its bold label marker affirmation of the name Amy.

  “Yes,” I said shyly as I scanned him gum and handed it back to him. He grabbed my wrist and frowned. I looked down and for the first time, I noticed a slight bruising on my wrist that vaguely resembled finger marks. I looked down to my other wrist and sure enough there was one on that side as well. A burst of emotions came crashing down on me; among the strongest was incredulousness and embarrassment. I knew exactly where the marks had come from and looking up into his black-rimmed eyes, the realization came upon me that he did as well. I dropped the chewing gum on the counter and hid my wrists in a useless attempt to make the marks go away.

  His eyes seethed behind his tinted glasses as he threw down two dollars, grabbed the pack of gum and walked out of the store without a second glance back. My heart beat dramatically in my chest for the next few hours of my shift and I tried to focus on my job in order to cram all of the fear and confusion into the back of my head. It didn’t work very well, and by 8:00 I practically threw off my uniform and ran outside to my car.

  I sped to Blake’s where Eric was waiting for me with my usual two shots and a beer.

  Chapter 6

  I downed the shots in about five seconds and took my beer to my usual corner table, ready to set up shop and drown my sorrows in liquor and self-pity for the night. What the fuck was going on? Friday nights were understandably busier at the bar, but one of the best things about this old Irish pub was that it never became over crowded. I couldn’t take too many people. Not today. Today I needed, liquor, alone time and classic rock. When I walked in, Eric saw the look on my face and knew to stay clear. We had a pretty cordial relationship that we both respected. When and if either one of us wanted to talk, we could, but for the most part, he poured, I drank and we were content with that. We had gone on one disastrous date out of desperation and we both agreed to never speak of it again. We were absolutely not compatible, but I did consider him a close acquaintance or even a friend.

  From the vantage point of my side table I looked over to him chatting with a demure red head that was here when I had arrived. She was exactly the type of girl Eric needed. The type of girl Eric dreamed about. She was smart, funny, pretty, but not too beautiful and was vegan. An anthropology major who enjoyed freestyle Jazz and who volunteered at the local ASPCA. All of these thoughts flirted through my head and I realized that this was never a conversation I had had with Eric. I didn’t know his type besides someone not like me and I didn’t know who this girl was. Why would I suddenly have a clear understanding of what he would want in a relationship? One failed date to the movies and eight months of steady bartending had probably given me these ideas.

  My brain began to hurt at this most recent development and I had no choice but to chalk this up to yet another thi
ng about my life that made no sense. I was happy for Eric and his newfound love, nonetheless. Deciding the best thing at this crossroads was to keep drinking, I added a cigarette to the equations and I immediately felt much better.

  Just as healthy drunken fuzz started covering over my thoughts I realized I was not alone at my table. Violet had walked up and pulled the chair out from the adjoining table, quickly sitting down backward on it; straddling her legs around the metal bars. She was wearing more down to earth clothing than she had the previous night; a pair of faded jeans and a simple pink sweater. Her makeup was not toned down and her hair was its usual perfection, but my curiosity had eliminated any animosity I had for her and her perfect life. I had questions and this girl clearly had some answers.

  “Hi,” I said giving her a friendly and excited grin as I scooted my chair a little closer to hers. No need to let her in on the fact that the adrenaline rush at her presence had completely sobered me up. “What brings you back here?”

  She smiled and put down her drink. I saw that she had brought a coaster from the bar and put it down on the table before her water glass. “I wanted to hang out with you some more.”

  “Do you want a drink? I’m buying”

  “No thanks. Water is fine for me.”

  “You don’t drink?” I inquired. Any information at this juncture could help.

  “No. Only on special occasions?” She smiled, sipping her water seductively in front of me. What game was she playing?

  I decided my best recourse was to flirt back. “And meeting me here is not considered special enough for you?”

  She laughed back as me and I could see her shoulders relax. “I knew we would have fun together, Amy. It’s very quant and… flattering that you are trying to seduce me, but I cannot revel anything to you that I am not allowed to.”

  “How do you know I’m trying to seduce you?”